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Dance All Night: A DANCE OFF HOLIDAY NOVELLA Page 10
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His phone rang in the kitchen and he hurried to pick it up.
It was his mother, Oksana. Jess was still in the bathroom, so he accepted the call and held the phone to his ear. “Hey, mamochka. What’s up?”
She talked to him in Russian about their upcoming Christmas plans, his cousin Alex’s pregnant wife, and his dad’s latest woodworking project. While she spoke, Nik got an idea. He outlined it for his mother in Russian.
“Listen, mamochka, I’m seeing this woman, and she’s really special to me. If I can convince her to come, I want to bring her home with me for the holidays.”
Oksana was, predictably, overjoyed that her second wayward son appeared to be settling down with “a nice girl.” Of course Nik could bring her to Christmas with the family.
After he hung up, the bedroom door opened and Jess emerged fully dressed. When she saw him, her shoulders stiffened.
It was a slight move, but he caught it. Something was definitely up. So instead of asking if she wanted to spend the holidays with his family, he said, “You wanna play in the snow?”
She glanced down at his boxers, the only thing he had on, and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you think you’ll be a little cold?”
“I’ll get dressed.”
“Cool. I’ll make breakfast.” She brushed past him to open the fridge.
Cool, indeed. Her demeanor had taken a turn toward frosty, at complete odds with the heat they’d generated the previous night. If only he had some idea of what was going on in that pretty head of hers, but if he asked, she’d just deflect with a question of her own.
With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, he got dressed to go out in the snow.
Playing in the snow. At their age. But this was why Jess had agreed to the whole “holiday dates” endeavor in the first place—to have fun. To prove to herself and Naomi that she did know how to play. So, play in the snow they would.
Besides, it would keep her mind off everything Nik had revealed the night before.
The feelings stirred up by having sex with him were stronger than she’d ever felt, stronger than she was comfortable with, and she was already scared by how much she’d gotten used to spending time with him. They were having the kinds of deep conversations people didn’t usually have after a few dates, at least not in her experience. If she were being honest, the depth of Nik’s devotion scared her a little. What on earth had she done to deserve it? And she was no prude, but sleeping next to someone for the first time was a huge leap in intimacy. She liked it, secretly craved it, but she still didn’t trust it, or herself.
And when he left? What then?
Because he was going to leave. She was sure of it now. The Raise Your Voice opportunity was too big, too good, to pass up.
Maybe he’d be back later, but she hadn’t been kidding when she said she wasn’t going to wait around for him. For one thing, her heart wouldn’t be able to withstand missing him so much. And for another, she’d just be waiting for him to leave again.
Been there, done that. She was so completely over waiting for the important men in her life to decide whether they wanted to stay or go.
So, this snow thing was good. It would distract her from everything else she couldn’t figure out.
First step: snowman.
After agreeing on an ideal spot, they began packing the snow to build the body. They worked well together, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, considering how well they danced together. He took her suggestions and gave feedback, maintaining light conversation and good humor. They’d both grown up in places that got a lot of snow, so it brought up a lot of nostalgia.
“Mitya and our older cousins always beat me in snowball fights,” Nik said, placing the snowman’s head on top of the body.
“Really?” That gave her an idea.
“Yeah, they were a lot older than I was, and I was little. Probably we played in the snow back in Ukraine, but I don’t remember it, and we don’t have many pictures from that time.”
There was something in his voice that made her pause. “Do you miss it?” she asked.
He shrugged. “Nothing to miss. I was only a baby when we moved, and no else really talks about it. When they do, it’s not fondly, not like ‘the good old days.’ They left everything behind for a reason, and no one seems inclined to reminisce over it.”
“I can see that,” she said, thinking about what it must have been like for him, growing up in a new place that was all he’d ever known, but that was so different for everyone else in his family. Maybe he didn’t miss being there, but she would wager there was still a sense of missing something, even if it was just missing memories. “My mom and sister laugh about the times my dad was gone, and the fights that led to his leaving. I guess it’s their way of making peace with the past, but I just want to forget about it.”
“Everyone processes differently,” he said in a quiet voice.
She nodded. The vibe had turned somber, so she changed the subject to lighten the mood.
“Our snowman needs a name,” she said as she packed more snow onto the torso.
“Who says it’s a man? What do we humans know about snowpeople genders?”
She huffed out a laugh. “Fine, we’ll give our snowperson a gender neutral name. Something cool.”
“How about…Leslie.”
“Cooler than that.”
“Okay, you pick a name.”
She thought for a moment. “What about Alex?”
“Nope. That’s my cousin’s name.”
“Hmm. Charlie?”
“Is that a cool name?”
“I don’t know. Devon?”
“Maybe.” He sent her a sly grin. “How about Jessie?”
She kicked some snow at him. “That’s my name!”
He snapped his fingers. “I’ve got it. Frances.”
“No!” She kicked more snow, giggling her head off.
“Mackenzie?”
She stopped laughing and pursed her lips in thought. “You know what? I like it. Mackenzie Snow.”
“Perfect.”
“What are we going to use for the face?”
“I’ll go find something.”
The second he turned away, she scooped up a handful of snow, expertly packed it into a ball, and let it fly. It hit him square in the center of his back with a splat.
He froze, then turned around with a mixture of disbelief and humor on his face. His gaze tracked the snow at his feet, but then he looked back at her, still frozen.
Aww, that was sweet. He was hesitant to hit her with a snowball. His chivalry would be his downfall.
Ducking behind the snowman, she packed another snowball and threw. He dodged this one, then charged at her. With a squeal, she took off across the expanse of snow, giggling and trying to scoop up another handful as she went.
A snowball hit the back of her head and she shrieked. “My hair!”
She turned to see his look of horror. Little did he know, her hair was safely braided and protected by a satin cap inside her knit hat. She used the distraction to throw the snowball hidden in her hand. Nik tried to move, but was too late. The snowball caught him in the neck.
He hissed, trying to keep the snow from trickling down his collar. “That was a dirty move,” he called.
She just threw another one at him.
He charged her again, and this time she wasn’t fast enough to get away. With a soft tackle, he took them both down into a pile of untouched snow.
She lost it, giggling uncontrollably. This was too much fun. The snow was cold against her back, but the sun was warm on her face, Nik’s body was solid on top of hers, and she was overheated from layers and exertion. Nik rose over her. The adoration in his face scared her a little. What did you do when you’d never bothered to imagine the man of your dreams, yet he showed up anyway?
A twitch at the corner of his mouth was the only warning she got before a handful of snow landed on her face. As she sputtered amid bursts of laughter, his lips f
ound hers, and then they were kissing and grinding against each other through all the layers of clothing. She couldn’t feel him through the fabric, through the insulated gloves covering her fingers. And she wanted, needed, to feel him.
“Inside,” she gasped against his lips. “Take me inside.” I need you inside me.
She wasn’t ready to make a decision about the future yet, but neither was she ready to let this—or him—go.
Nik sprang to his feet, hauling Jess into his arms and continuing to kiss her as he tromped through the snow toward the cabin’s back door.
Poor Mackenzie the Snowperson would just have to live without a face.
Inside, they left a trail of clothing from the back door, starting with their snowy boots and ending with their underwear by the side of the bed.
Jess reached for the pouch he’d packed, but instead of pulling out a condom, she held up the vibrator and sent him a saucy little smile.
As much as he was worried about these swings in her mood—cool one moment, hot the next—he couldn’t resist her. He would give her anything she wanted.
They sprawled naked on the bed, kissing with feverish intensity. Nik took the vibrator from her, but before he could turn it on, she pushed him back onto the pillows and shimmied down his body until her face was level with his jutting cock.
She sent him a wink, and just like that, closed those luscious lips of hers over his dick, enveloping him in warm, tight heat.
Nik let out a long, low groan as she slicked her mouth over him, getting him good and wet. She gave a questioning little moan in reply and squeezed the base of his dick with her fist.
God, she was so feisty. He loved that about her.
Her tongue laved over him, her eyes shot him amorous looks from under her lashes, and all he could do was cup the back of her neck and feel.
With her hands and mouth, she pumped him, simulating what he wanted to do to her. Tension coiled in his muscles, the need to spill in her mouth taunting him. He held it back. Despite how utterly fucking amazing her mouth—and oh god, her tongue—felt on and around his cock, he wanted more. When he could take it no longer, he hauled her up to kiss her.
“That’s enough,” he said, panting. “Now it’s your turn.”
He popped his index finger into his mouth to get it wet and slid his hand over the smooth mound of her sex. Stroking gently, he slipped his finger between her folds and into her. She clung to his shoulders, gasping his name in his ear. It was the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard.
But as much as he tried to lose himself in her body, in the heat they generated together, he couldn’t stop thinking about wanting more. Wanting her to give up this “kiss at New Year’s Eve” farce, wanting to feel comfortable asking her to come visit his family with him, simply because he didn’t want to be apart from her. But yeah, also because he wanted her to meet his family, and for them to meet her and love her as much as he already did.
He loved her, and holding it back was like death by a thousand paper cuts.
But if he told her now, he’d scare her off. She was already guarded. Behind the veneer of snark, she kept her heart locked away.
So he told her with his mouth, his hands, his body. He told her with slow, drugging kisses and smooth, sure strokes. When he rolled on a condom and sank into her wet heat, he told her with his moves, with the rhythm, with the way he held her close.
Something in the sheets bumped his arm and he glanced over to see what it was. Shit, they’d forgotten about the vibrator. Just the thought of using it on her made his pulse leap.
Withdrawing from her body, Nik shifted so he was sitting on the edge of the bed, then positioned her on his lap, facing away from him.
She mumbled something that sounded like “yes, please,” then gripped his thighs for leverage. Raising her hips, seated herself on his dick, hissing as he filled her. Her gorgeous ass pressed snug against his belly, and his cock twitched inside her at the visual. When he turned the vibrator on to a pulsing setting, the rhythmic humming filled the quiet room.
Jess whimpered before he even touched her with it, then nearly shot off him like a rocket when the buzzing connected with her clit. Holding her down with one arm wrapped around her waist, he moved it in steady circles over her as she bucked and rocked her sex on him, squeezing him tight with her inner muscles as she cried out her pleasure in sobbing gasps. Holding back his orgasm through such a tumult of sensation was the most exquisite bliss he’d ever known.
When they were done, after she’d cried out his name and he’d shuddered against her with his face pressed into the back of her neck and his cock buried deep inside her, he held her against him.
They were quiet for a long time while she stroked his arms in lazy motions. Eyes closed, he breathed in the sweet scent of her and tried to regain his emotional footing.
And then she cleared her throat and said in a soft voice, “Nik? What aren’t you telling me?”
Chapter Eight
Behind her, Nik stilled. It had taken all of Jess’s courage to ask, even though she was sure she knew the answer.
It was her, probably. Maybe he was mad that she wouldn’t give him an answer yet, or maybe he was already thinking about leaving on tour. But being this close to him broke her open in a way she’d never experienced, and she couldn’t not ask.
Because as beautiful, as heart-stoppingly perfect as the sex had been…he was holding back. He’d been too open from the beginning for her not to notice.
He lifted her off his lap and onto the bed beside him. His expression was serious.
“I wasn’t sure if I should say anything…” he began, and she held her breath.
“Just tell me.” I can take it. Maybe.
“Will you come to New York to spend Christmas with me and my family?”
Her stomach lurched. That was not what she’d expected him to say. “What?”
He shifted, turning to look her full in the face. The position drew her attention down his magnificent body that seemed to know exactly how to move with hers. “What?” she said again.
His grin lacked some of its usual brightness. “When my mom called earlier, I told her about you. Asked if I could bring you with me.”
“Wait, you told your mom about me?” Already? Damn, this was going fast. Too fast. But curiosity briefly outweighed terror. “What did she say?”
He gave a light laugh. “She’s thrilled, of course. Can’t wait to meet you.”
Swallowing hard, Jess pushed herself off the mattress and stood. God, her thighs were still wobbly with aftershocks from the very thorough orgasm he’d just given her. “Hang on, I need to clean up.”
Even as she ran for the bathroom, she called herself a coward. This was twice now she’d gone to hide after he’d pressed her about the future beyond this third date, and he was too observant not to notice.
But this had gone so far outside the play zone, she had no idea what to do. Feelings were involved, and physical intimacy. Now he wanted to bring family into it? They were only on their third damn date!
And besides, what was the point? This would all be over soon.
In the bathroom mirror, her eyes were wide and scared. She had to calm down, and the only way that would happen would be if she pumped the brakes to stop them from speeding into unknown territory.
Why would he ask her to meet his parents? Family shit was never part of the bargain. She didn’t even go see her own family in Chicago for the holidays, so it didn’t make any kind of sense for her to fly all the way to New York City to see his. It was ridiculous.
She’d originally agreed to these dates as a temporary thing, never expecting it to go this far. And now that she knew he had a tour coming up, all her fears were confirmed. Three dates, and then, at some point, he would be leaving. Thanks for the memories, see you never.
None of it made sense. But she was too heartbroken to sort it out.
After cleaning herself up and wrapping her body in a towel, she took a deep breath, c
alling on every ounce of sarcasm and confidence she possessed. Then she swung out of the bathroom to break his heart.
“Thanks for the invitation,” she said, keeping her tone light and breezy, like he’d asked her to go to the library and not meet his parents. “But it would be kind of silly for me to visit your family when I don’t even visit my own, you know?”
He sat on the bed in his boxers, his expression utterly blank. The perpetual warmth in his eyes had disappeared.
“Especially since I don’t even like Christmas,” she added with a forced laugh.
As she said the words, they tasted like a lie in her mouth. After all the work he’d put into showing her a good time this month, she was starting to love all this Christmas stuff. But the memories would always be tied up with him, and what hadn’t been.
More painful holiday memories to add to the collection.
Nik stood and nodded once like he agreed, but his eyes had shuttered and all traces of his easy smile had disappeared. “The roads are probably clear by now,” he said, his voice flat. “I’m going outside to clean off the car.”
He grabbed his clothes and walked past her into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him with a quiet click.
The hollowness spreading inside her said she’d made a very big mistake. She just didn’t know which part of it had done the most damage.
The drive back to Los Angeles was made in near silence, aside from Jess’s music playlist, a mix of classic jazz and recent hip hop. Nik wanted to ask her about it, but really, what was the point?
Just as he’d feared, she’d rejected his offer. Laughed it off, like she hadn’t even taken it seriously. Taken him seriously.
From the very beginning, she’d doubted his sincerity, insisting that this was all a game to him. As if he didn’t know his own feelings. As if he couldn’t tell that he’d never felt this deeply about anyone else.
This was love. Yes, already. The early stages, or so he guessed. He was falling in love with Jess Davenport.